Why is it so suprising?

First of all, let me say that this blog is totally different from my other blog. This blog is a place for me to process my thoughts and feelings about Christianity and what I see in these times. This blog is completely my opinion, subject to change as God shows my differently. I hope that those reading this blog will read it with the heart with which it is written.
I love my God. He is the One True God of Israel, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, the Holy Father who sent His only Son, Jesus to earth as a sacrifice to bridge the gap between God and man caused by sin. I know( as the words to the song say) what a wretch I was. I know that there is NO WAY I could have presented myself to God and been deemed acceptable. Accepting the work that Jesus did on the cross was the only way I can be acceptable to God.
I've been on a journey my entire life. I've seen many sides of Church, of Christianity, and of "ways to heaven". Before the last 3 or so years, I'd never "known" Christ. I'd struggled to know Him. I wanted to know Him. I couldn't understand why I didn't feel like I "knew" Him. I want to share my thoughts about knowing Him and what that brings.
First, I want to write about this: Why is it so surprising when people find out about the circumstances of my life? Several times in the last few years, I've encountered people who are shocked to find out about my life. They look at me and assume that I live a "perfect" fairy-tale life. Honestly, there are times I feel this is almost held against me. When they find out that I am a twice-married mother of a blended family who grew up in an abusive, alcoholic home they seemed shocked. I want to know why they are shocked? By the way, these are people who profess to be Christians that are shocked. All the more....why are you so shocked???
In my opinion, Christs' name and renown are not served well by people walking around defeated, searching for "healing" or "deliverance". Christ is not displayed to the world as King by our twelve steps, by our groups divided by addiction. I don't really see these things in scripture.
I believe the Word of God. So, when the Word of God says things like: 2 Cor. 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things have passed away; behold, all things are become new. " I choose to believe it. I may be afflicted with thoughts of unworthiness, or shame or guilt, but God has the answer to that as well. 2 Cor. 10:5 " Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" I must challenge my thoughts against the truth of God's Word.
One thing I've never felt in "church" is that I am good enough to be accepted. This has also run over into feeling like I'll never be "worthy" to do anything for the Kingdom of God. Even in my youngest days, I could never "measure up" because my mom had been divorced. People would always ask why my brother had a different last name, and when I would say that my mom was married before...I would see the look of pity in their eyes. As an adult, when I became a divorced, single mother I again felt the shame and pitied looks from other "Christians". Again, a sense that I could never "measure up". For many years, these thoughts kept me from God. I actually thought that God must feel the same way about me as other people felt. I didn't see the point of trying to live for Him, if I could never hurdle these things.
I no longer believe this, and I have the scripture to back me up. Matt. 9:12 "But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." Jesus didn't come for the perfect, Thank You Jesus!! He came for me! My past just guaranteed that I am what Jesus came for! What a revelation!
I learned something profound this morning when reading John 8. The beginning of the chapter finds Jesus at the temple. scribes and Pharisees brought a woman "caught in the very act" of adultery. They asked, Moses said we should stone her, what do you say? They were hoping to get Jesus to contradict the scriptures. (they held the Scriptures in very high regard) Jesus, after taking a moment, replied to them vs. 7 "He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone." After this, they all backed away leaving only Jesus and the woman. He then said to her the words on which we can base our lives. vs. 11 "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." Not, go and get yourself into a womens group for sexual sin. Not go and find a healing seminar and hope it takes the first time. Not buy hundreds of dollars in books, tapes etc. until you "feel" clean enough. But "go, and sin no more."
I love this about Jesus. He is the epitome of simplicity. Often, he healed and delivered with just one phrase. He wasn't flashy or showy, he was moved with compassion for the people and met their needs, both physical and spiritual. I think if we can accept this simplicity, we can find freedom and peace.
Let me share a few more simple truths that have brought my life from what it was, to what it is today. Matt. 22 34-40 Again, the Pharisees and Saducees are involved here. A lawyer asked Jesus to define the great commandment of the law? They all knew Moses' law, and he wanted to know which was the greatest commandment. Jesus replies another simple truth on which to base your Christian life. vs 37 " Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments HANG ALL THE LAW AND THE PROPHETS." Do we need a list of rules and regulations to judge people? NO! We are told that Matt 7:16 "Ye shall know them by their fruits." Gal. 5:22-23 show us what that fruit looks like.
How can we actually live this kind of life? I think first of all, we must believe. Believe in the Bible is not just a simple knowing in the mind, it is much more than that. It means not just to believe, but to be persuaded of, hence to put confidence in, and signifies a reliance up, not mere credence. We must be persuaded that God's Word is truth, and put our confidence, and reliance upon what it says. In John15:3 it says, "Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you." We are clean through the Word. Also, we are free through the Word. John 8 31-32 says, " Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, IF ye continue in my word, THEN are ye my disciples indeed: AND ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." I truly feel MORE freedom in this time of my life than I have felt in any other. I believe it comes from reading and studying the scriptures, and knowing the God of the scriptures. Not just the god of religion or the Americanized god that seems so popular. My God has cleansed me from all unrighteousness (1 Jn 1:9). I no longer have to hang my head or be ashamed of my past.